My wife and I recently attended an event tagged Couples Xcape, organized by High Flyers International Ministry. Couples Xcape is a program initiated by my friends (the Samuels) to help other couples sustain the fire of their love and strengthen their relationship in marriage. I must confess that the only reason I decided to attend the Couples Xcape last month was because the organisers are my friends; little did I know that the event would turn out to be very revealing and memorable.
We were requested to do some exercises during the event. Two notebooks were handed to each couple, and we were to document our responses to some questions, and thereafter, exchange notes with our spouse. One of the questions asked was –describe the most memorable thing that your spouse has ever done to you in your marriage? As I tried to figure out my answer, I realized I was more curious to know what my wife’s response would be. In fact, I started to mentally recall all the wonderful treats I felt I had given my wife right from our honeymoon, and I could barely wait to finally hear which of these treats she would choose as the most memorable. “Time up!”
My wife and I exchanged notes, and I was shocked to read her response. According to her, the most memorable thing I had done was regularly wash her underwear when she had just given birth to our second child. She was very touched because she knew I didn’t fancy doing laundry, but, during that period, I ignored my preference to help relieve her so she could rest and recover. I was doing for her what I rarely did for myself.
My friends, I was so disappointed to hear this. I thought about all the expensive treats I had given her, including times I had spent some foreign currency; I remembered all the times she had exclaimed joyfully at my gestures, and couldn’t figure out why washing undies ranked tops. But as I pondered on this, I Peter 3:7 (NLT) came to mind – “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” It dawned on me that my love was ‘made perfect’ in her time of weakness. The treats were great, but my understanding when she was weak had greater impact.
This experience has made me begin to pay more attention to the many little things which money cannot buy that I can use to make my marriage and family the way God wants it. I also thought about how (without any penny) we are all capable of showing the love of Christ to the weak and needy in the community, thereby giving us a “memorable” platform to reach them with the gospel while glorifying our father in heaven. I trust you are inspired to make a difference with whatever talents, gifts and abilities you have.
– Tope S. Aladenusi